Answer Save. Mostly, though, it's that I realize I'm not living a life in full alignment with my truth. There’s a need to understand what someone who can’t fit into society is going through in order to make it less of a scary world for them to live in. We don't really know who we are because of how much society has impacted us. I don't like talking, I prefer to listen or just observe. Why I Don’t Fit Into Society. But I’m just not satisfied with myself. Having different hair colors? I don’t see myself lasting for awhile. It’s tough to deal with feeling like you don’t really fit in. Stop caring about rest of the people. Because they’re “different”, they feel as though it’s a curse and often, the world makes them believe so. Will I ever fit into society? Being “different” means that you’re going to be looked at differently, spoken to differently and treated differently. I wanted to focus on how society does this and why we feel the need to fit into it. At the other extreme someone may blatantly stand out from the norm and draw everyone's negative attention. Because no one is there for them, they have to face everything on their own and it can be a great burden to carry. 21F- I don’t feel like I fit into society. They don’t see themselves as an individual that is accepted in society so they hide away. I'm trained as a counselor. TW: Suicide talk. I'm shy, quiet, bit socially awkward. I was a tomboy growing up. You Haven't Found "Your People" If you feel like a stranger at work, or live on the periphery of your … They find it difficult to communicate with people, thus they avoid it at all costs. Sadly, the society we live in is giving more and more importance to primitive instincts … Those situations are different. They act bad and stuff. So you are not alone in feeling that you don't fit into society. The first thing you can do is making some close friends with whom you feel 'yourself'. I often don't feel very female-like at all. ¨You shouldn't wear high heels because you're already really tall, you're going to make everyone else look so short. Sometimes, not fitting into society would make you feel like you’re not good enough. However, that, in turn, can make them fall into a state of depression. They'll decide it's practical to present themselves as an average person on the surface, while they do their own thing in their free time. We as college students live in a world that tells us being different is okay, but doesn't give us the definition of "different". Being in different sororities? But just because someone has a different way of thinking, it doesn’t mean you need to accept it as your own; just respect it and try to see where they’re coming from. I feel like I have a giant rock in my brain that isn't supposed to be there that is preventing me from living life. 4 Answers. In that way, society might not agree or be in line with the things that you do, but they will at least allow you to be a part of them. There’s always been a gap between what I want to be and what I think the world thinks I should be. Social situations are exhausting, and the older I get, the less energy I have to pretend otherwise. A large portion of people who don’t fit in are highly sensitive to the emotional climate of people and environments. Because they’re “different”, they feel as though it’s … Shutterstock 1. People who go this route also tend to develop subtle little ways of finding each other. How do you think about the answers? ), When You Exercise & Eat at the Same Time #shorts, In 2020, There Were 82 HDB Flats That Were Resold For Over $1 Million, 42 COVID-19 Cases Today (10 Jan); All Are Imported, Body Parts Found At Sriwijaya Air Crash Site; Authorities Focusing on Search & Rescue, Woman Divorces Husband Coz Husband Bought Bra That Were Too Small For Her, The Reason Why Nurses Don’t Wear Gloves When Giving COVID-19 Vaccine Explained. The consequences can differ too. Not the earth or the universe. Confusing not having to justify our actions with being unable to justify our actions. At work they'll follow the dress code, and avoid saying anything too controversial. If someone just varies from the mainstream in a harmless way, they shouldn't have to give in to the masses. There's a lot you can do to improve your social skills on your own - I wouldn't have made this site if I thought otherwise. Update: I don't even fit in at Church. I’d say I’m successful in terms of my academics and job. “Don’t change so people will like you; be yourself and the right people will love you.” ~Unknown . I was shy, awkward, and lonely until my mid-twenties and created this site to be the kind of guide I wish I'd had at the time. Hello, I really hope you liked this video, let me know in the comments what your opinion on that. You would have to compromise your ideals to ensure that you and the society have both ends meet. I function in society because in the end, once you're an adult, you have to, but I love to travel and that is what keeps me sane. Personally, I’ve often felt like I don’t fit in at school, work, and even around friends and family. It might be due to my conservative, Pentecostal upbringing, or possibly because while my friends were praying-through, playing sports, or working on figuring out the fairer sex, I was oblivious to reality. Just not conventional like that, I like to explore and discover things. And if you and I feel like that, then there must be a heap of other people who feel the same. There’s always a standard that society sets and they feel like they can’t reach those standards. What can you do if your problem is that you don't fit in? 9 Answers. Is different being a hipster? I don't fit into the society of my age? They often ask themselves if it’s more important what other people think about them, or what they feel about themselves at the end of the day. It's one thing to have actual weaknesses in your social skills, which people are giving you legitimate criticism and feedback about. If you feel like you don’t ‘fit in’ with most of society and your actions are respectful, responsible and … 1 decade ago. “You’ll learn, as you get older, that rules are made to be broken. This is one of the classic solutions, used by people who were raised in stifling small towns the world over. A society with its standards, expectations and societal norms is exactly what makes life harder for those who can’t fit into society. Be bold enough to live life on your … They Feel Like The Entire World Is Against Them. And society is created by us “normal” people. I don't worry about society much. Deep thinkers. I don't fit into society because my brain can't keep up with the social dynamism of others. Others feel more forced into it, because their 'real' self would be too misunderstood and rejected otherwise. Lacking specific interpersonal skills is one broad type of social problem. It's like I'm completely different from everyone else. And it's like I'm lost somewhere else because I'm nothing like that. I live in it, and have to work in it (which S U C K S), but the fact that I don't fit in is a testament to our current society. Showering in the Morning vs Evening: Which is Better? There are times when people who can’t fit into society choose to not be part of it because they’re misunderstood for having different ideals. Plus, saying hello to a stranger is like showing up with a Christmas gift when I had no idea we were exchanging gifts and I didn’t get you anyway. Sign in . Please do not copy, reproduce, or translate any articles without permission. You see, your personality is so unique that they can’t fit you into a neat and tidy box. Never have been. We know what i… You know, don't stick to the trodden path in life ie: 9-5 office job with a husband and 2.5 kids, don't stick to the path in the wild either, ma bad! It's when you don't fit into the social norm, and that's what's causing you problems. Sounds dramatic, doesn't it? A free guide to getting past social awkwardness, Having different interests and priorities than most of the people around you (for some reason, the example that always comes to mind for me is someone living up in a U.S. town where the entire population seems obsessed with high school or college sports, while they couldn't be any less interested), Having different beliefs or values than everyone around you (e.g., being the only artsy hippy in a closed-minded town, being the only conservative religious person in a dorm full of people who love drinking and partying), Just being the odd person out who gets picked on (e.g., being the 'weird' guy at your job), Being part of a legitimately marginalized group, like being gay in a more intolerant part of the country, The proven way to get past boring small talk, Instantly beat self-consciousness with the, Busting the myth that you have to get a "more interesting life" to be interesting. Those who don’t conform are also more likely to look within for answers because the external answers are fabrications, lies or are unacceptable. i don't fit in and i don't want to. Not fitting in could mean things such as: Of course, social awkwardness, shyness, and not fitting in do sometimes go together, however there are many cases where someone feels their communication skills are fine, and they're not anxious around people, but their social lives suffer because they're different. April 28, 2014 By admin. If you're getting hassled for not fitting in, then the implicit message you're receiving from other people is that you're faulty as you are, and that everything would be better if you just become more like everyone else. These reasons range from living a different lifestyle to just being a “unique” individual altogether. Now that I am a little older, I am fine feeling I don't really fit into society. The rest of the time, they are generally excluded and ignored, because who they represent doesn’t fit into the jigsaw of a community. In the middle of the scale might be someone who is part of a subculture that's not well represented in their area, and is lonely as a result. The mainstream herd becomes a majority and will marginalize anyone who does not fit into that group who then feel ostracized and abnormal. Favourite answer. It's also one thing to consciously choose to be pragmatic and superficially go along with social norms in order to get something you want. I don't know what it must be like from a male perspective, but even women have the same complexities. Many people have a difference or two that gets them this kind of light flak from others, and they mostly just put up with it. My social skills are too poor and my brain just won't let me function around others. krispykritter. Sometimes, it is these very reasons that make society shun them. I can put on the extrovert mask as easily as any other introvert, but wearing the mask is much more draining than just being myself. cos society sucks. People can be physically assaulted, black balled from their community, have their property vandalized, or have their family members threatened and harassed. Because, if I was, I would be somewhere else, having a different conversation, with a different set of people, and showing up more fully and completely as me. Let me also know what kind of videos you want to see on my channel. Especially when you're younger, you can't choose where you live, and where you were raised may not be a good fit for you. I have a nice job lined up. The ideas in this similar article may also be helpful too: Getting Away With Doing Your Own Thing Socially. Maybe you can leave fairly soon, or you might have to hunker down for a while. Society is validating what a person should and should not look like, what the definition of beauty is, that happiness is when you are successful, that you will only be liked if you’re ‘normal’, so on and so forth. in Psychology. I find shared experiences when I speak with people who know what it is like to feel different—people with disabilities, migrants, creative people, gay people, introverts, recovering addicts, and many others.Though we don’t share those particular characteristics, our mutual understanding of what it is like to be different connects us, powerfully.We know what it is like to be judged because of who we are. Finding your tribe is more important than ‘fitting in’ Honestly, if you have to change yourself to fit in … I'm currently working with clients who live in Ontario, Canada: Copyright © 2006-2021 SucceedSocially.com. It can all reflect a high school movie mentality where everyone is a jock or a stoner or some other archetype. I'm Chris Macleod. For example, someone may mostly be similar to their social circle, but get condescending little comments for one opinion they hold. Maybe there's a particular bar in your town that caters to your subculture, or a monthly meet up that's organized online, or an obscure club at your university you could join. Lacking specific interpersonal skills is one broad type of social problem. I’ve felt socially rejected all my life. I’ve always felt the pressure to fit in. It's when you don't fit into the social norm, and that's what's causing you problems. People in certain subcultures, or who have particular philosophies towards life, find they have to do this. Being someone who can’t fit into society doesn’t mean that you’re “weird”, just different. That's not the answer though. I don't fit into society either why should we all be the same don't fit in stand out and keep your head high focus on your school work, just remember that if you succeed all these losers who are mean will be working for you someday, 0 0. These days, if you see someone in a shopping mall who is bare-faced, you'd look at them as if... How to Use “Ok Boomer” in an Office #shorts. The mentality of so many people in the U.S. For some people, splitting into two selves is simply a choice they make. In other words, they simply aren’t prepared to deal with your complexity, depth, and ability to think for yourself. There is an imaginary template that we all somehow have to fit to succeed in this new world we live in. 1 decade ago. It’s not easy to be unable to fit into society especially when they need to face life’s challenges and problems. There are no easy answers but maybe there’s something in the following that may be helpful. But in general, I really, really hope he's right, and that Muslims don't fit into British society at all well. Relevance. This is intimidating for some people as they don’t know what to do when they’re around you. The other extreme isn't anything to joke about. Everyone I see dress like gangsters or rappers and just focus on girls and stuff. It’s incredibly frustrating. 2.2K views It’s time that society needs to start accepting as well as respecting those individuals as just “different” and not weird so that they may be able to embrace and accept their own individuality. Though I'm also a therapist and can offer in-depth, personalized help. Another is being too shy or insecure around other people. Like in the example above, on the mild side all that may happen is someone gets some friendly teasing about it, or boring lectures from their mom. A third general problem area is a little different. Answer Save. I may as well describe myself. This can … Anonymous. Think of the young clean cut office worker who goes to hardcore punk shows every Saturday. With no one else who is just like them, they long for sincere companionship sometimes. I have a Master of Social Work (MSW) degree, and a B.A. If one of their co-workers ran into them on the weekend, they may not even recognize them. 1 decade ago. Because the new “normal” may just be being “different”. There are many reasons why some people feel that they are not fitting into society. Here’s what it’s like being someone who feels like he is not fitting into society. They can cut through the noise, right through to the heart of the matter — and this puts people off. They don't fit the mold that society has given us. I've been writing about social skills for over ten years. I can't relate to, and I was born and raised in the U.S. You can sign in to vote the answer. Don’t-have-to-explain-myself and can’t-explain-myself are entirely different concepts.Don’t-have-to is a defense mechanism for can’t.People do incredibly crappy things to each other and revel in the fact that technically there’s no explanation necessary. I wish the human race were smarter as a whole, but I can't change it. It seems like community cases have magically disappeared again. Another is being too shy or insecure around other people. Whatever it is, when you’re not part of society, you’re definitely going to feel like something is missing from your life. However this kind of thinking, about how you don't fully fit into any group, can place a bit too much importance on the idea that people fit into neat little clans, and their social lives revolve around what clique they're a member of. That's how I look at it. They don’t need a large circle of friends, just one or two would do. The extent to which someone doesn't fit in could be very subtle and more irritating than anything. It is hard when you feel you should live up to society's expectations. Another more mild consequence for someone may be that many people don't want to be friends with them, and just politely ignore them, which they're fine with. If the situation you're in seems bad enough, and you don't see it getting better any time soon, then it may be the right call to move somewhere else. Everything I do to try to get better never works. A third general problem area is a little different. People who don’t fit into society often feel like they’re missing out on the things that other people in society get to experience. In other words, you might not fit in but they can at least be tolerant. I have always felt like the triangle block being forced into a round hole. Those who don’t fit into society sometimes debate whether or not they should try to fit in or don’t bother at all. Also by Mark Woods. 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